gawai in kuching - part 1
This was one seriously mad trip. Did I regret doing all the things I did while I was there? I don't know yet. All I know, is that I will suffer, for what I did. I will feel pain. I knew what was coming, but I let myself go through it anyway. Why? Cos to feel loved once again.. is everything.
My flight was at 5.30pm on Tuesday, 31st May 2005. Saw this other guy who was also from Curtin at the airport that was also on the same flight as I was on, going to Kuching. I didn't say "Hi" or anything because I was too shy. I would be flying alone. The rest of my family had driven up to Kuching on Friday. They would be picking me up from the Kuching airport later. Slept in the plane because I was incredibly tired from staying up late the night before trying to study for my Physics test. Which didn't go very well, I might add. I suck at Physics.
Arrived in Kuching at about 6.30pm. Rafie was there with his friend, Dex, because he wanted to see me. Went out of the arrival hall, greeted my family who then proceeded to head towards the car. Spotted Rafie out of the corner of my eye. Told my family that I had to go use the toilet before we left for Bau (my kampung) which was just an excuse to go see him. Turned around a corner, and there he was, with his friend. Rafie then held his arms out for a hug which I gave to him. He had just gone to play some basketball so he was all sweaty. Yucks. It still felt good though.. haven't gotten a hug since the last time I saw him. Unfortunately, my dad had seen us. So then, I quickly went to the toilets for awhile and then went after my family.
Later in the car, Rafie smsed me "It was nice to feel your arms again.." Sigh.. Heh.. of course, my parents asked "Who were those two guys?" I just told them that they were my friends from Kuching. Went to Bau, saw my grandparents, my little cousins, my aunts and uncles. Had dinner there. Finally went back to the hotel/apartments we were staying at at about 10 or 11pm. We were staying at this place called Somerset.
Day 1
My first official day in Kuching, and it started out with me sneaking out of the hotel to a waiting Rafie, his brother, Rasyiq, and his friend, Dex, in a Kembara. Aaron and Greg didn't come with me cos they all wanted stay back and watch South Park. So we drove around, looking for burger stalls. Found one, and the guys all started ordering what they wanted.
Taken near the burger stall where we stopped. I was standing on the shoulder of the sidewalk, making me taller. Taken by Rafie using my handphone, hence the bad quality of the picture. He had his arm around my waist. I miss all that.. I miss being close to someone.
After buying the burgers and getting some drinks from a nearby convenience store, we drove down to Masja. It was this place with a lake, and this huge building by the lake and a bridge crossing the lake. It was also a place where people came to make out. The bridge and the building were lighted up by lights.. it was beautiful.. the boys were busy eating their burgers.. I didn't order any cos I wasn't hungry. So I just stood there, enjoying the sights. I wish I had a digicam with me so that I can share with everyone what I've seen, the places I've been. But my cousin conveniently forgets to bring his digicam everytime something like this happens.
After standing outside the car for awhile, I headed to the driver's seat. Rafie joined me soon after.. so we were both there.. sitting in the same seat. Heh. Funny. For you should know how small Kembara's are. And we were just holding hands, talking.. and he kissed me. Several times.. on my cheek, my forehead, my lips.. After awhile of being there, we all decided to drive off to the riverside. Rasyiq drove this time and Dex sat in the passenger seat. Rafie and I sat in the back. But this time, it's to the side of the river I've been to before. It was quiet, and there weren't much people there. The whole time Rafie and I were in the back, Rafie was holding me close, with me, lying in his lap, looking up at him.
What was funny was that, Rafie was talking to me, but Rasyiq kept replying him instead. And Rafie was like, "What the.. I'm not even talking to him. Why is he always replying me instead??" softly to me. I just smiled and gave a small laugh. The laugh got bigger as time went on though because Rasyiq just never got that Rafie was talking to me, not him. And that Rafie wanted to talk to me, not him. Haha. :P After more talking and more stolen kisses, we decided to go someplace else instead. This time, Dex wanted to drive. And this time, it was to Rafie's house. And man, when Dex drove, he completely floored it. Dex didn't exactly have his driver's license yet cos he was still only 17.
Dex was flooring the gas pedal but the car just wasn't getting anywhere fast. Rafie did say that driving the Kembara was just like driving an elephant except it wasn't as fun. When Dex drove, I had moved from lying down to sitting up in Rafie's lap. Sort of. Haha. I had to. I had to hang on to something, in this case, Rafie's neck or shoulders, to keep myself from flying off from all the sharp turns and bumps Dex was going over. :P And I guess I was hanging on pretty tight cos Rafie then exclaimed, "Someone at the back here is terrified." But I wasn't! I just didn't want to go flying all over the place. So then Dex said, "Don't worry. I'm a very good NFSU2 driver" which made me crack up.. I mean, was that supposed to make me feel more confident about his driving? :P And I just kept laughing.
Arrived at Rafie's house at about 2.30am, safe and sound. Rafie brought me out of the car and took my hand and lead me through his garden. Saying to me, "So, you finally get to see my romantic garden." Hehe. And yeah, I guess it was pretty romantic.. and lead me into his house, which was dark, so I didn't see much of anything in his living room. Had to quickly sneak upstairs to his bedroom before his parents woke up from the noise and decides to go out and investigate. Heh. Oh wow.. the staircase up to his bedroom really is as steep as he says it is. The staircase is probably at a 60° angle. Steep. And the door to his bedroom is tiny. Had to stoop to get through it. Forgot that his ceiling would probably be at an angle as well and tried to stand up straight which resulted in me hitting my head on the ceiling.
Accidentally woke his lil brother, Radhie up. He was sleeping in Rafie's room because the other brother, Rasyiq, had come back from KL and was then staying in Radhie's room. Okay.. Rafie is the oldest child in his family, he would be 21 tomorrow. Yeah, his birthday is tomorrow. And he has 4 other brothers and one sister. Rasyiq being the second oldest in the family. Same age as me, so he should be 19 this year. Then there's Rusydie, who is either 16 or 17 this year. Then there's Radhie, who's either 15 or 16 this year.. and then there's Nadia, the sister, who is.. 8 or 9, I think. Then there's the youngest, Wafie or something. Who's either 4, 5, or 6. Ah, big family. Yearps. To be honest, I don't know if I'm getting their names spelt right or their ages right.
Hung out in Rafie's room.. Radhie left the room soon after we got in there. Smart kid. Haha. Aaron called me soon after though, asking where I was and what time I was gonna go home. He was pissed cos they didn't get to come along. What to do... they all said that they wanted to watch South Park. So I assumed they didn't want to come. I said I would be coming back around 3 to a pissed sounding Aaron. :P
Heh.. Rafie and I were there.. in the room.. alone.. and never did I miss him so much as I did then. He had put the song Karena Ku Sayang Kamu, by Dygta, on. A song I had sent to him not too long ago. A song which he said he had fallen in love with. A song he said he was listening to alone in his room one night, whilst reading my old smses.. which made him cry. He was holding me close.. when he told me he loves me. Hearing him say that.. with that song playing in the background.. and then thinking, that.. no matter what I did.. he would always choose her over me. And hearing him say that he loves me.. made me start thinking.. How could you love me? When you're with her? How can you say that? Why do you still love me? When you got someone better? and all that.. Sigh. I then just buried my face in his shoulder and started tearing up.
He was like "Hey hey.. what's wrong..? Don't cry..." and a sob escaped and he was like, "Heh.. too late.." Then he was like, "Why are you crying..? Don't you love me too?" I was silent.. after awhile I just said "You know I do.." through all the tears and hugged him tighter. He was wiping my tears away with his fingers, saying "Don't cry.. what's wrong..?" but I just kept quiet.. I didn't know how to tell him.. but he just kept holding on to me, hugging me, wiping my tears away, asking me to let him know what was wrong.. and when I tried to push him away, he only pulled me closer to him and wouldn't let me go. Sigh.. I miss all that.. I miss having someone who cared the way he did.. I miss having someone to cry to.. I know how hard it is to find someone like him. Someone who loves the way he does. Kim also said last night when I told her about my trip and what went on that "he's something that other guys aren't" to which I said to her "heh.. now you know why I love him?"
Luckily, his little brother, Radhie soon knocked on the door inviting us to join the rest of them for a Shisha session. But before that, we had to go heat up some coal. So I just hung out with Rafie in the kitchen. Me, mindlessly walking about the kitchen, in awe with all the stuff they got stacked up on their kitchen cabinets which reached the ceilings. And Rafie busy heating up the coals on the stove, playing around with fire. Silly boy. Had more hugs in the kitchen. Funny thing happened.. Rafie suddenly exclaimed "You know, if I didn't know any better, I could've swore you got OCD" and I was just like "Oh yeah? Hmmm.. weird. My brother said the same thing" and just walked off. Then Rafie was like, "and I could swear you got ADD too" to which I just rolled my eyes. I think he said that cos I just started attempting to clean up his kitchen cos it was so messy! I just... sik biasa bah.. and he said I got ADD cos I just walked off after saying what I said. Hehe.
My flight was at 5.30pm on Tuesday, 31st May 2005. Saw this other guy who was also from Curtin at the airport that was also on the same flight as I was on, going to Kuching. I didn't say "Hi" or anything because I was too shy. I would be flying alone. The rest of my family had driven up to Kuching on Friday. They would be picking me up from the Kuching airport later. Slept in the plane because I was incredibly tired from staying up late the night before trying to study for my Physics test. Which didn't go very well, I might add. I suck at Physics.
Arrived in Kuching at about 6.30pm. Rafie was there with his friend, Dex, because he wanted to see me. Went out of the arrival hall, greeted my family who then proceeded to head towards the car. Spotted Rafie out of the corner of my eye. Told my family that I had to go use the toilet before we left for Bau (my kampung) which was just an excuse to go see him. Turned around a corner, and there he was, with his friend. Rafie then held his arms out for a hug which I gave to him. He had just gone to play some basketball so he was all sweaty. Yucks. It still felt good though.. haven't gotten a hug since the last time I saw him. Unfortunately, my dad had seen us. So then, I quickly went to the toilets for awhile and then went after my family.
Later in the car, Rafie smsed me "It was nice to feel your arms again.." Sigh.. Heh.. of course, my parents asked "Who were those two guys?" I just told them that they were my friends from Kuching. Went to Bau, saw my grandparents, my little cousins, my aunts and uncles. Had dinner there. Finally went back to the hotel/apartments we were staying at at about 10 or 11pm. We were staying at this place called Somerset.
Day 1
My first official day in Kuching, and it started out with me sneaking out of the hotel to a waiting Rafie, his brother, Rasyiq, and his friend, Dex, in a Kembara. Aaron and Greg didn't come with me cos they all wanted stay back and watch South Park. So we drove around, looking for burger stalls. Found one, and the guys all started ordering what they wanted.
Taken near the burger stall where we stopped. I was standing on the shoulder of the sidewalk, making me taller. Taken by Rafie using my handphone, hence the bad quality of the picture. He had his arm around my waist. I miss all that.. I miss being close to someone.
After buying the burgers and getting some drinks from a nearby convenience store, we drove down to Masja. It was this place with a lake, and this huge building by the lake and a bridge crossing the lake. It was also a place where people came to make out. The bridge and the building were lighted up by lights.. it was beautiful.. the boys were busy eating their burgers.. I didn't order any cos I wasn't hungry. So I just stood there, enjoying the sights. I wish I had a digicam with me so that I can share with everyone what I've seen, the places I've been. But my cousin conveniently forgets to bring his digicam everytime something like this happens.
After standing outside the car for awhile, I headed to the driver's seat. Rafie joined me soon after.. so we were both there.. sitting in the same seat. Heh. Funny. For you should know how small Kembara's are. And we were just holding hands, talking.. and he kissed me. Several times.. on my cheek, my forehead, my lips.. After awhile of being there, we all decided to drive off to the riverside. Rasyiq drove this time and Dex sat in the passenger seat. Rafie and I sat in the back. But this time, it's to the side of the river I've been to before. It was quiet, and there weren't much people there. The whole time Rafie and I were in the back, Rafie was holding me close, with me, lying in his lap, looking up at him.
What was funny was that, Rafie was talking to me, but Rasyiq kept replying him instead. And Rafie was like, "What the.. I'm not even talking to him. Why is he always replying me instead??" softly to me. I just smiled and gave a small laugh. The laugh got bigger as time went on though because Rasyiq just never got that Rafie was talking to me, not him. And that Rafie wanted to talk to me, not him. Haha. :P After more talking and more stolen kisses, we decided to go someplace else instead. This time, Dex wanted to drive. And this time, it was to Rafie's house. And man, when Dex drove, he completely floored it. Dex didn't exactly have his driver's license yet cos he was still only 17.
Dex was flooring the gas pedal but the car just wasn't getting anywhere fast. Rafie did say that driving the Kembara was just like driving an elephant except it wasn't as fun. When Dex drove, I had moved from lying down to sitting up in Rafie's lap. Sort of. Haha. I had to. I had to hang on to something, in this case, Rafie's neck or shoulders, to keep myself from flying off from all the sharp turns and bumps Dex was going over. :P And I guess I was hanging on pretty tight cos Rafie then exclaimed, "Someone at the back here is terrified." But I wasn't! I just didn't want to go flying all over the place. So then Dex said, "Don't worry. I'm a very good NFSU2 driver" which made me crack up.. I mean, was that supposed to make me feel more confident about his driving? :P And I just kept laughing.
Arrived at Rafie's house at about 2.30am, safe and sound. Rafie brought me out of the car and took my hand and lead me through his garden. Saying to me, "So, you finally get to see my romantic garden." Hehe. And yeah, I guess it was pretty romantic.. and lead me into his house, which was dark, so I didn't see much of anything in his living room. Had to quickly sneak upstairs to his bedroom before his parents woke up from the noise and decides to go out and investigate. Heh. Oh wow.. the staircase up to his bedroom really is as steep as he says it is. The staircase is probably at a 60° angle. Steep. And the door to his bedroom is tiny. Had to stoop to get through it. Forgot that his ceiling would probably be at an angle as well and tried to stand up straight which resulted in me hitting my head on the ceiling.
Accidentally woke his lil brother, Radhie up. He was sleeping in Rafie's room because the other brother, Rasyiq, had come back from KL and was then staying in Radhie's room. Okay.. Rafie is the oldest child in his family, he would be 21 tomorrow. Yeah, his birthday is tomorrow. And he has 4 other brothers and one sister. Rasyiq being the second oldest in the family. Same age as me, so he should be 19 this year. Then there's Rusydie, who is either 16 or 17 this year. Then there's Radhie, who's either 15 or 16 this year.. and then there's Nadia, the sister, who is.. 8 or 9, I think. Then there's the youngest, Wafie or something. Who's either 4, 5, or 6. Ah, big family. Yearps. To be honest, I don't know if I'm getting their names spelt right or their ages right.
Hung out in Rafie's room.. Radhie left the room soon after we got in there. Smart kid. Haha. Aaron called me soon after though, asking where I was and what time I was gonna go home. He was pissed cos they didn't get to come along. What to do... they all said that they wanted to watch South Park. So I assumed they didn't want to come. I said I would be coming back around 3 to a pissed sounding Aaron. :P
Heh.. Rafie and I were there.. in the room.. alone.. and never did I miss him so much as I did then. He had put the song Karena Ku Sayang Kamu, by Dygta, on. A song I had sent to him not too long ago. A song which he said he had fallen in love with. A song he said he was listening to alone in his room one night, whilst reading my old smses.. which made him cry. He was holding me close.. when he told me he loves me. Hearing him say that.. with that song playing in the background.. and then thinking, that.. no matter what I did.. he would always choose her over me. And hearing him say that he loves me.. made me start thinking.. How could you love me? When you're with her? How can you say that? Why do you still love me? When you got someone better? and all that.. Sigh. I then just buried my face in his shoulder and started tearing up.
Seandainya kau ada disini denganku
Mungkin ku tak sendiri
Bayanganmu yang selalu menemaniku
Hiasi malam sepiku
Kuingin bersama dirimu
Ku tak akan pernah berpaling darimu
Walau kini kaujauh darimu
'Kan slalu kunanti
Karena ku sayang kamu
Hati ini selalu memanggil namamu, dengarlah melatiku
Ku berjanji hanyalah untukmu cintaku
Takkan pernah ada yang lain
Adakah rindu dihatimu, seperti rindu yang kurasa
Haruskah ku terus terlena, tanpamu di sisiku
Ku 'kan slalu menantimu
He was like "Hey hey.. what's wrong..? Don't cry..." and a sob escaped and he was like, "Heh.. too late.." Then he was like, "Why are you crying..? Don't you love me too?" I was silent.. after awhile I just said "You know I do.." through all the tears and hugged him tighter. He was wiping my tears away with his fingers, saying "Don't cry.. what's wrong..?" but I just kept quiet.. I didn't know how to tell him.. but he just kept holding on to me, hugging me, wiping my tears away, asking me to let him know what was wrong.. and when I tried to push him away, he only pulled me closer to him and wouldn't let me go. Sigh.. I miss all that.. I miss having someone who cared the way he did.. I miss having someone to cry to.. I know how hard it is to find someone like him. Someone who loves the way he does. Kim also said last night when I told her about my trip and what went on that "he's something that other guys aren't" to which I said to her "heh.. now you know why I love him?"
Luckily, his little brother, Radhie soon knocked on the door inviting us to join the rest of them for a Shisha session. But before that, we had to go heat up some coal. So I just hung out with Rafie in the kitchen. Me, mindlessly walking about the kitchen, in awe with all the stuff they got stacked up on their kitchen cabinets which reached the ceilings. And Rafie busy heating up the coals on the stove, playing around with fire. Silly boy. Had more hugs in the kitchen. Funny thing happened.. Rafie suddenly exclaimed "You know, if I didn't know any better, I could've swore you got OCD" and I was just like "Oh yeah? Hmmm.. weird. My brother said the same thing" and just walked off. Then Rafie was like, "and I could swear you got ADD too" to which I just rolled my eyes. I think he said that cos I just started attempting to clean up his kitchen cos it was so messy! I just... sik biasa bah.. and he said I got ADD cos I just walked off after saying what I said. Hehe.
OCD --> Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
ADD --> Attention Deficit Disorder
Sometimes I wonder if I DO have that. Sometimes I think I'm just such a perfectionist or that I'm so fussy that it looks like I got OCD. As for ADD.. I might actually have that one. Sometimes, it's so incredibly hard for me to focus my attention on something. Which is really frustrating..
Anyways, after that, went up to Radhie's room, where Rasyiq was already sleeping so soundly that he was snoring. Hehe! And had our shisha session. I gotta admit that.. this was my first time shisha-ing. Poor Dex.. he was having some probs with his gf at the time so he was taking several puffs at a time. I only took 2 at a time.. Rafie had to teach me what to do. Haha. He was the first to go. As in, the first to feel it's effects. I didn't succumb as fast. But pretty soon, I had to sit down on the floor and lean against a chair. After a few more puffs, I had to lie down. Laid there in Rafie's lap... feeling oh so lightheaded. You feel like, after you feel after just spinning around a few times and then just stopping. Except you don't see the room moving around you as you do when you spin yourself around. Btw, we're all non-smokers, keep that in mind.
After that, Rafie sent me home. Both of us still feeling tipsy. Wish I could've stayed longer. Was beginning to enjoy myself but my brother was like, pissed off with me and I didn't have a key to the room with me so both Aaron and Greg had to wait up for me. :P Got back at about 4am.
Woke up at about... 10 or 11am later that day. Went sort-of shopping in the morning. Cos mom wanted to buy stuff for the little cousins. After that, went to Bau. Didn't do much there. Only kept falling asleep and waking up to find random visitors at the house. How embarassing. Hahaha! Not like I care. Was sleeping on the floor of the living room the first time it happened. Woke up with bleary eyes.. didn't notice the people at first.. so went back to sleep again. Haha. Woke up the second time more aware of them. :P After waking up, spent the rest of the afternoon playing Playstation with my little cousins. Didn't get to play the games I wanted cos my little cousin, Alvin Jarryll kept putting on Power Ranger games. -_-" Hahaha. Every time he lost, the game would change. Hahaha.
The second time I fell asleep was later in the evening, but this time, on a couch in the living room. Haha. Woke up again to find more visitors around. Gah! Oh well. Had dinner again that night. Went back to the hotel at about 10 or 11pm again. Didn't sneak out that night cos Rafie was too tired from spending the day at the beach. =( Wish I could've gone.. it definitely would've been more fun than kat kampung. Where I was so bored I kept falling asleep. Heh. Anyways, some pictures..
Me and my niece, Rachel. Rachel is only 4 or 5 but she's incredibly intelligent for someone her age.
Aaron, me, Rachel.
Aaron, me, Rachel, again.
Nabillah, the cute and shy one, had trouble getting her to look at the camera. With Rachel, who simply just loves the attention.
ADD --> Attention Deficit Disorder
Sometimes I wonder if I DO have that. Sometimes I think I'm just such a perfectionist or that I'm so fussy that it looks like I got OCD. As for ADD.. I might actually have that one. Sometimes, it's so incredibly hard for me to focus my attention on something. Which is really frustrating..
Anyways, after that, went up to Radhie's room, where Rasyiq was already sleeping so soundly that he was snoring. Hehe! And had our shisha session. I gotta admit that.. this was my first time shisha-ing. Poor Dex.. he was having some probs with his gf at the time so he was taking several puffs at a time. I only took 2 at a time.. Rafie had to teach me what to do. Haha. He was the first to go. As in, the first to feel it's effects. I didn't succumb as fast. But pretty soon, I had to sit down on the floor and lean against a chair. After a few more puffs, I had to lie down. Laid there in Rafie's lap... feeling oh so lightheaded. You feel like, after you feel after just spinning around a few times and then just stopping. Except you don't see the room moving around you as you do when you spin yourself around. Btw, we're all non-smokers, keep that in mind.
After that, Rafie sent me home. Both of us still feeling tipsy. Wish I could've stayed longer. Was beginning to enjoy myself but my brother was like, pissed off with me and I didn't have a key to the room with me so both Aaron and Greg had to wait up for me. :P Got back at about 4am.
Woke up at about... 10 or 11am later that day. Went sort-of shopping in the morning. Cos mom wanted to buy stuff for the little cousins. After that, went to Bau. Didn't do much there. Only kept falling asleep and waking up to find random visitors at the house. How embarassing. Hahaha! Not like I care. Was sleeping on the floor of the living room the first time it happened. Woke up with bleary eyes.. didn't notice the people at first.. so went back to sleep again. Haha. Woke up the second time more aware of them. :P After waking up, spent the rest of the afternoon playing Playstation with my little cousins. Didn't get to play the games I wanted cos my little cousin, Alvin Jarryll kept putting on Power Ranger games. -_-" Hahaha. Every time he lost, the game would change. Hahaha.
The second time I fell asleep was later in the evening, but this time, on a couch in the living room. Haha. Woke up again to find more visitors around. Gah! Oh well. Had dinner again that night. Went back to the hotel at about 10 or 11pm again. Didn't sneak out that night cos Rafie was too tired from spending the day at the beach. =( Wish I could've gone.. it definitely would've been more fun than kat kampung. Where I was so bored I kept falling asleep. Heh. Anyways, some pictures..
Me and my niece, Rachel. Rachel is only 4 or 5 but she's incredibly intelligent for someone her age.
Aaron, me, Rachel.
Aaron, me, Rachel, again.
Nabillah, the cute and shy one, had trouble getting her to look at the camera. With Rachel, who simply just loves the attention.
posted by Kim at 3:40 PM
2 Comments:
hey where did my comment go?? neways .. good luck to u wid ur ex bb!! really hope u get ur priorities str8 ;)
huh! that's weird. where DID your last comment go?? :S
Post a Comment
<< Home