my oddness revealed
Hmm.. I think mom probably freaked when she came into the room seeing me playing a computer game and my brother chatting online. Seems innocent enough. But see, that's what I hate about living in this house. It seems like there's nothing we can do here without getting screamed at.
I guess it's cos it seems to her that we're not taking our studies seriously enough. I have my own excuses.. but she doesn't know about them. Cos I know it would seem very unbelievable but believe me, it's true. I'll just type it out.. this is where you discover how weird I am.
You see, I can't study or do anything study related or even do chores (without being asked) in front of my parents. I don't really know why this was to be, but it is. Weird, innit? Well, I think so too. And I guess that's why my parents believe me to be very irresponsible, etc.
I just don't like them to see me that way.. I know it would make them proud of me, maybe.. but I don't know.. I just can't do it.. cos I don't want them coming over and asking me if I need any help.. or asking what I'm up to.. asking asking asking.. I hate it. See.. if only I still had my computer up in my room.. sure.. they won't see me as much.. but at least I would be doing what they want me to do.
That's why I stay up late at night.. so that after they go to bed, then I would be able to view my lecture slides and all that.. sometimes when I can't wait anymore, I close the door to the computer room only to have them opening them up again and scolding us for doing it.
Nah.. they're unaware of this odd behavior of mine.. don't think I could ever tell them about it.. I mean, how believable is all that?? Sounds like a load of bullcrap to me too. Like some really lame excuse not to study. That's why I can't say anything.. but it's affecting me, that lack of privacy. Maybe I just need to try change.. but see.. I've tried! But I wasn't able to concentrate that way..
As for the chores and stuff? I don't know.. I just feel so embarassed if they caught me doing something a good daughter ought to do?? Sigh.. even with all the constant bickering of us never doing anything to help around the house without being told.. I still continue cos of this symptom of mine. I wonder why I'm so weird. Seriously!
One day, I was washing my car in the afternoon. I was trying to finish up as quick as possible before my parents got back from work.. Alas, they returned home a minute too soon and caught me cleaning out the car. Fuck! Yeah, I was embarassed. They both pulled into the driveway with grins on their faces and they teased me on their way into the house.. I wonder if that's why I despise it so much.. I despise their teasing.. eventhough I know that it was all in jest.
Yes, I'm odd. Get over it.
PS. Does this mean I really do have OCD or something like that?? Cos that would be scary.
I guess it's cos it seems to her that we're not taking our studies seriously enough. I have my own excuses.. but she doesn't know about them. Cos I know it would seem very unbelievable but believe me, it's true. I'll just type it out.. this is where you discover how weird I am.
You see, I can't study or do anything study related or even do chores (without being asked) in front of my parents. I don't really know why this was to be, but it is. Weird, innit? Well, I think so too. And I guess that's why my parents believe me to be very irresponsible, etc.
I just don't like them to see me that way.. I know it would make them proud of me, maybe.. but I don't know.. I just can't do it.. cos I don't want them coming over and asking me if I need any help.. or asking what I'm up to.. asking asking asking.. I hate it. See.. if only I still had my computer up in my room.. sure.. they won't see me as much.. but at least I would be doing what they want me to do.
That's why I stay up late at night.. so that after they go to bed, then I would be able to view my lecture slides and all that.. sometimes when I can't wait anymore, I close the door to the computer room only to have them opening them up again and scolding us for doing it.
Nah.. they're unaware of this odd behavior of mine.. don't think I could ever tell them about it.. I mean, how believable is all that?? Sounds like a load of bullcrap to me too. Like some really lame excuse not to study. That's why I can't say anything.. but it's affecting me, that lack of privacy. Maybe I just need to try change.. but see.. I've tried! But I wasn't able to concentrate that way..
As for the chores and stuff? I don't know.. I just feel so embarassed if they caught me doing something a good daughter ought to do?? Sigh.. even with all the constant bickering of us never doing anything to help around the house without being told.. I still continue cos of this symptom of mine. I wonder why I'm so weird. Seriously!
One day, I was washing my car in the afternoon. I was trying to finish up as quick as possible before my parents got back from work.. Alas, they returned home a minute too soon and caught me cleaning out the car. Fuck! Yeah, I was embarassed. They both pulled into the driveway with grins on their faces and they teased me on their way into the house.. I wonder if that's why I despise it so much.. I despise their teasing.. eventhough I know that it was all in jest.
Yes, I'm odd. Get over it.
PS. Does this mean I really do have OCD or something like that?? Cos that would be scary.
posted by Kim at 9:41 PM
5 Comments:
that's not odd.
that's what i call typical of teens.
i'm like that too.
so it's no biggie =)
serious? maybe it's just us then. cos it seems to me that everyone else doesn't have this kinda problem.
ehhh sapa ckp...me oso what...i hate it when ppl puji me for doing chores....i mean i can sweep n clean n stuff...but only if im alone....if ada org kan...sure they're like...haa macam ni la good daughter...ugh...totally hate it. I so know how u feel...
m the type that likes to kena puji.... but i dont do chores... told to or not....
wani: ok... now i feel less weird. =(
jawing: does that mean you've never done any chores, ever??
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