picking up the pieces

How do you treat your exs when you are over them?

Do you hate them indefinitely?

Do you just regard them as a friend no matter how bad the relationship was?

Do you feel thankful knowing you've come out of the relationship a better person?

I for one, would regard them as friends and I would also be thankful for ever having them in my life. I always thought that others would treat their exs the same way.

I've just been wondering cos Rafie said to me the other day, "I just realised how I wasted 6 months on you." Ouch, I know.

Maybe he said it to hurt me more although he claims to have gotten over me. Well, I do believe I'm over him, finally. =) I'm with a better person now.

Anyway, I never said anything back to hurt him. I'm better than that. I'm not about to stoop to such petty levels. Not anymore.

I don't think I would ever feel that I wasted my time on someone by just being with them for a long time only to find out that the relationship just didn't work out in the end. I guess there's just this certain number you have to hit before you find that one person. Some may be lucky on their first try, some may not be as lucky.

It's funny, and so contradictory, how he was the one who started that conversation that day. Haha. And he says that he's the one who wasted 6 months on me. Hahaha. And there he is wasting a day more!

Well, fie, go ahead and be cold towards me. I'll be fine. I've been to hell and back. Months of depression where every single day was an endless struggle to get through where I prayed to God to end my life. It's finally stopped, and you don't like it.

If ever you loved me, you'll be happy for me. As I am for you. Despite how absolutely fucked up my life is right now. It'd take a lot for me to fix everything. Not like you know what life's been like ever since you left.

Yes, I'm in the deepest shit you can probably imagine right now. Okay, maybe not that deep.. Come up a little higher. Yeah, there. It's something I've been keeping quiet about until recently. Who knows, you may find out about it soon enough. It's not something to be proud of. I certainly am not proud of myself. Ashamed would be the better word.

I kept quiet about it for so long that it started eating me inside. So I finally told someone about it. Was apprehensive about making my confession because I was so afraid that he would end up hating me and thinking I was stupid. But thank God, he didn't. He understood, although I don't know how much he did.

By the end of my confession, I was a sobbing mess but he still told me how proud he was of me and comforted me. I may not believe him completely but I'm glad that it was him I told.

I'm not as strong as I used to be. Yes, fie, you did that. Are you proud of yourself? Someone you once called strong, someone you once loved for her ability to be strong for herself, someone you once admired for her independence, you broke her down. You shattered her into a million pieces and only now does she manage to start picking all the pieces up. She'd make it, eventually.

Time does heal all wounds after all.