boy, i yak a lot

I'm blogging at 8.05am!! Hahaha.. and I'm still home... oh, no! Yeah, I accidentally didn't have any transport to campus. -_-" So I'm here instead.. sitting in front of the pc, with my getting-soggier-with-every-passing-second bowl of cereal. Which, I don't really feel like eating actually but had prepared only because I was having a tummy ache. Haihh... kimkc has also been having tummy aches la~ this la~ that la~ copycat. Hahaha. I should really stop going to bed late at night when I'm starving just because I'm too lazy to go to the kitchen instead to get some food.. you think??

Heh.. alright.. I just realised that I am now missing my first class. Or skipping it. Nooooooo!! And I actually like this class.... -_-" I got up early for nothing. Haha.. oh, how did I accidentally not have transport? Usually my mom would leave the car in the house when she isn't sure if I need it or not.. usually on days when I won't tell her if I'd be needing the car or not. Unfortunately, this time she didn't. When I came downstairs and looked out the window which overlooks the garage, I was like, oh shiiiiiiiiiiittt....... Hahaha!! Everyone else was out of the house already. My brother was at school, my little sister was at school, and both my parents had gone to work.

I'm feeling better since yesterday, or the day before that, that's for sure. Everyone I talked to the day before yesterday had been quite fatalistic and not supporting of my relationship with Rafie.. I'm not blaming them, I suppose they got their own reasons for not liking us.. They're not bad people just because they don't approve of it.. That's just their own opinion. Funny.. everyone I talked to yesterday, however, had been very supportive and had been great. How about today, eh? Heh..

I guess that gal had her reasons for accusing Rafie of being a player and not a good person.. She said she knows he is one because she herself was cheated before.. that she once dated Rafie but it didn't last long and that one of Rafie's brothers had told her that Rafie was cheating on her with another girl in KL.. Hmm.. and then now she's with one of Rafie's brothers. Hmmm.. it just really seems as though one of Rafie's brothers had told her that Rafie was cheating on her because he wanted to get with her instead. That's what it really seems like, no? However, I wouldn't know. I have no idea which brother it was that had told her that. Was it the same brother she's with now? If so, it must be very heartbreaking for Rafie to know that one of his own brothers had betrayed him like that.. I know.. that if Aaron or Andy had done something like that to me, I would've completely lose whatever trust I had in them.. in my family, in my friends, in anyone. Cause if your own flesh and blood is able to do something like that to you, what more others?

I've included a little picture of Rafie and I in this entry. Hehehee... yeah, it's that one in the top left corner there.. that would be him tugging at my mouth forcing me into a smile.. cos that's what he is.. that's how he is.. making me smile even when I don't wanna.. when I'm trying to be mad at him for something he did, pouting, and merajuking in a corner.. he would still manage to come around and make me smile and laugh.. and when that happens, I get so annoyed at myself for not being able to stay mad at him for long. Haihhh!! It's a really cute picture.. I love it. And.. I love him.. However, with what's been going on lately.. It's hard to be sure of anything. Except that I love him. That I am sure of.. but.. can I trust him? Can I trust anyone? Yeah, that, I can't really be sure of right now.

Oh yes, and now I shall start talking about the last episode of American Idol.. finally! The girls are not as boring as the guys. Amazing. I was so suprised when Carrie chose to sing a song I had put up in my blog yesterday morning, just before I went off to school. What a coincidence! Haha.. and I love that song.. although it's really old.. from either the '80s or the '90s.. :P What's more, Carrie sounded great singing that song! Love it. And then there was Nikko.. yeah, he's back! I admit, he was yes, pitchy in his before last performance. Hehe.. he even gave Wani goosebumps. That's my boy! Haha.. and they had a great ending. Jessica did a great job of ending the show. That was probably her best performance. However, Nadia didn't live up to expectations. Which is too bad.. but I'm sure she wouldn't be kicked out just cos of that last performance which was still good, not bad, but not great. And I want Antony out!!! Don't understand why that boy is still in the competition. He's never actually been any good. I don't know.. he just always bores me.

Oh yes.. I was gonna talk about my time in school.. which was only for one hour. Haha! Cos I only had one class which lasts only one hour. What a waste of a time. Well, I had Moral class.. and well, we were all randomly placed into various groups whom we were all supposed to work with for the rest of the semester. The horror...... why? I'm... so totally SHY. OMG, meeting new people scared me half to death. Even worse when I have to do it alone. Of course people I know wouldn't say that I'm shy. Of course not! I know them.. why should I still be shy amongst them? First meeting.. of course la shy.. but not many people remember that. Haha.. what made the new group thing bad was that.. they were all Chinese and would then proceed to talk amongst themselves in Chinese leaving me just sitting there, staring blankly at either the ceiling, the desk, the floor, my hands. How embarrasing and what a curse it is to be Bidayuh Chinese and not be able to understand either language. I suck. Well, my group consisted of 4 other girls and only 1 other guy..

Anyway, we were all put together to sit in our group to discuss what name we would like for our group, what logo/symbol would our group be using, what are our group's objectives, and who we wanted as our leader. I unfortunately, got picked to be leader. I'm so not the leader type, no matter how much I want and try to be. How did I end up getting picked then? Cos of my student ID number, no less. Hahaha. Cos it was different from the other girls because I.. embarrasingly enough, am a repeater. Failed a few subjects, and had to stay back an extra semester retaking all the subjects I failed. The boy, Wilson, was also a repeater but they chose not to pick him as a leader only because he was a guy and the other girls didn't want the lecturer to think that we were picking on him. *rolls eyes*

What made the group thing was.. was that, they were.. you know.. girly girls. Oh gawd.. I can't stand it.. should've heard the names they tried to give the group. OMG. *shakes head* Hahaha.. anyway, at first.. they drew us a logo of a really cutsie angel. So then, we just had to have our group name have something to do with that angel, no? Wanna hear some of the names they suggested? This is scary.. they suggested names like Cutie Angel, Cuties, Cute girls, Girls only, Angels....... the horror!! What's wrong with these people?! I was so desperate not to be in a group that had a name like that... that's why I kept asking the boy, who was being so quiet, if he had any suggestions or idea.. but he just kept shaking his head, saying no. I was like, don't you even care if you ended up being in group named Cutie Angel?!?!?!! *rolls eyes* In my head, of course. Anyway, we all settled on the name Shining Halos instead. At least that's way better than like, the other names they tried giving us. Gross!!